she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
