remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
