Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
