guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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