I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
