i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
