On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
40s are totally the cure
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
