What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
