Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
