So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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