told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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