escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
