My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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