Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
