I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
