do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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