she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
