is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
