Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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