my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
