Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
