ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
