You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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