YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
