I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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