Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
