You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
