using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
