Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
