it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize