I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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