fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
