she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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