you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
