Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
