i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
