Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
