Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
