Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
