everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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