Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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