god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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