doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
