Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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