If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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