What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
