so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
