too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
