Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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