That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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