So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
