Kiss
Puke
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
