they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
